Are you a twit?

I’m as connected to the online world as much as possible but still have not adapted or globbed onto the craze we call twitter, facebook, myspace, etc. I just guess I like to be connected but yet still private and have never liked the idea of having everyone knowing exactly everything that is going on with my life. I found this video and found it pretty funny mocking twitter.

Tags: tweetdeck, twitter, twitter anonymous

College kids dumb?

Stupid drunk gophers:

The Website Is Down part II

In my mind, not as good as the first but still worth the time to watch. The Website Is Down

Tags: The Website Is Down II

Can I get confirmation on that please?

Real life Facebook:

Tags: Real life facebook

Mexico flight

Not really anything substantial in post, just thought it was funny that the gate next to mine was going to Zihuatanejo, Mexico. Where is the man who crawled through a river of shit and came out clean on the other side?
DUFRESNE!

Tags: Shawshank Redemption, Zihautanejo Mexico

Wedding ceremonies are overrated anyways

Clumsy Best Man Ruins Wedding - Watch more Funny Videos

Tags: wedding ceremonies

You’ve got me bent over a barrel tigergps.com

Laura Says: Hey wait! We hate to see you go. So just this once we’d like to offer you 5% OFF for making your purchase today at TigerGPS.com! CLICK HERE to take advantage of this amazing offer!
Laura Says: Just type ‘HI’ or ‘Hello’ in the space below to let me know you are there.
Laura Says: Welcome to Tiger GPS! Tiger GPS brings you the market leading brands for GPS solutions at the best prices!
Laura Says: Whenever you are ready, just type ‘HI’ or ‘HELLO’ and we can get started…
Laura Says: Please type ‘HI’ or ‘HELLO’ in the space below…
You: no
Laura Says: Remember, this offer for 5% OFF is available through this chat only and for a limited time. It may not be available tomorrow. CLICK HERE and use coupon code jandiscount to take advantage of this deal.
You: no
Laura Says: OK, Thank you for your time. To end the CHAT simply CLICK on the “X” in upper right.
You: what time is it there?
You: laura
Laura Says: This amazing offer is only available through this chat and for a limited time. CLICK HERE and use coupon code jandiscount to take advantage of this deal.
Laura Says: I’m showing 4:25PM… btw that’s Pacific
You: you tricky online vendors
Laura Says: Keep in mind that if you order right now you will receive 5% OFF! CLICK HERE and use coupon code jandiscountto order right now!
You: MY CPU is a nero net processor, a learning computer
Laura Says: My name is Laura and I’m a live virtual agent.
You: how is the virtual world these days?
Laura Says: All products sold in our store are brand new, retail version and carry a full factory warranty. We do not sell refurbished products unless we clearly specify them in both the title and description of an item.
You: i would buy but i need a 15% coupon code
Laura Says: I’m sorry, I do not have information on all our products, I just have the ability to offer you this discount. For more questions or information, please call us at (866) 798 4437 or email info@tigergps.com to contact customer service.
Laura Says: I’m sorry, I do not have information on all our products, I just have the ability to offer you this discount. For more questions or information, please call us at (866) 798 4437 or email info@tigergps.com to contact customer service.
You: it’s 15% or no deal virtual Laura
Laura Says: I am sorry, I only have limited information. For more questions or information, please call us at (866) 798 4437 or email info@tigergps.com to contact customer service.
You: well you’ve got me bent over a barrel then don’t you?
Laura Says: I am sorry, I only have limited information. For more questions or information, please call us at (866) 798 4437 or email info@tigergps.com to contact customer service.
You: how do i initiate the chat over again
You: what touch tone starts that?
You: hello
Laura Says: Hi, thanks for chatting with me today… CLICK HERE to take advantage of this amazing offer.
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You: i beg to differ
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You: but it’s past 3 PM EST
You: you do have a hot avatar pic
You: customer service would be better if they just caved and gave me 15% instead of a 5% discount
–THE END–

-hs

Tags: tigergps.com

Lando Calrissian for president

Boy am I glad I saw this political ad before I voted

Tags: Lando Calrissian, president Calrissian

BRING ON THE BIG HURT

The Toronto Blue Jays released DH Frank Thomas today after a slow start this season. Thomas batted .167 in 16 games in 60 at-bats. This sparks the question if the Twins should pickup Frank Thomas, I for one think we could really use Thomas. This guy eats up the metrodome and we’ve never truly had a traditional DH player. Why not take a chance on him? Can we fork up 6-8 million dollars to pickup this guy? I say give him a chance, it’s some much needed offense in our already struggling offense. Even if he only hits 20 home runs, that’s probably more production than we’ve received in this role. His numbers last year were pretty productive with a .277 AVG, 26 HR, and 95 RBI’s…not to mention 30 doubles and 81 BB’s. This is the kind of production that we could definitely use in our lineup and might push us over that hurdle to compete in this ultra-competitive AL Central division.

For once in our lifetime, can the Twins fork up some dough and pursue this monster of a human being. We need an “ogre” in our lineup, Cleveland has one in Travis Hafner so why can’t we have one? Oh wait, I forgot that we’re the Twins and don’t have power hitting DH’s? Personally I’d like to see him tear apart the Bitch Sox. BRING ON THE BIG HURT!!!

Can You Sound Like A Bigger Douche Bag

http://youtube.com/watch?v=77aw9dG7tis
Can anyone tell me why complete idiots keep coming to the defense of Michael Vick. Lately the intellectuals of the athletic world have come together in defense of his barbaric acts. You would think someone would tell ass clowns such as Clinton Portis, Chris Samuel, Roy Jones Jr., and Stephon Marbury to just keep their traps closed, but no, we are subjugated to the complete idiocy of these buffoons. Some athletes should just play their game and spare us from their lunacy.

Let us start with the comments made by everyone’s favorite point guard Stephon Marbury. The problem I have is most of these athletic baby Einsteins never make any god damn sense. Here is Stephon’s statement comparing deer hunting and dog fighting, “I think, you know, we don’t say anything about people who shoot deer (in fact in the interview he said DEERS) or shoot other animals. You know, from what I hear, dogfighting is a sport. It’s just behind closed doors.” Well lets discuss this ridiculous comment in itself, first of all deer hunting is legal. But the biggest problem I have with this is as far as I remember deer hunting does not consisting of hunters sitting around watching deer rip each other apart with their strong powerful jaws. Now, that would scare the shit out of any five year old who loves Bambi. If Mr. Marbury would of listened in his Biology classes in high school, or attended, or did not have someone do his homework, or even read the the text for him, he would of learned that deer hunting is a way to save deer by controlling the population and thus reducing the spread of disease. Another quote that made me laugh was this, “I think he’s one of the superb athletes, and he’s a good human being. ” O.K., I think all role models such as Gandhi, Dr. King, and JFK were great human beings, but if history has it right they did not hang and electrocute their family pets. Note to Mr. Marbury, good human beings make the world around them better by changing the world for the better. I don’t think Vick’s actions made the world a better place, in fact Paris Hilton looks like Jesus compared to Vick. Maybe Stephon should stick to what he does best, being a selfish self absorbed basketball player, and not lecturing the American public on the rights and wrongs of dog fighting.

My next lad is Roy Jones Jr., if anyone remembers our Socrates of boxing was once caught attending cock fights (no not the gay pornographic kinds for all you sick individuals out there). In fact I can’t even describe the ramblings of Roy Jones Jr. And unfortunately I was unable to post them or transcribe them. But, ESPN.com does have the video up on its site, and to tell you if you ever want to hear someone on crack ramble on for what seems eternity, this is a must (http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/news/story?id=2988480).

Then last but not least is Clinton Portis and Chris Samuel. Who the hell knows who this Samuel dude is, but as far as judging character I can tell he is a douche. Someone needs to tell him the word is precinct. Portis everyone’s favorite drag queen is at it again making the media laugh, but his time its not about how cute his act is but how completely dumb his comments are. I really have to leave the video as proof because dissecting these comments would add to an already long post and plus it would be to easy.

Personally, this is why I think the United States needs to start a rigorous program testing everyone’s common sense on basic issues, thus giving people the right to procreate or not. Maybe this is a pipe dream, but after listening to this crap, maybe a Democratic presidential hopefully who has not shot of winning, might want to back this idea. Of course I am kidding, because idiots make the rest of us laugh and usually make us feel good about ourselves. Hell, if it wasn’t for people like Portis, Samuel, Jones, and Marbury maybe I wouldn’t really feel good about my situation in life. But I can tell you this, I am sure glad I am not as stupid as these guys. Hooked on Phonics worked for me.

For your information Nick Punto still sucks!