I come in peace…

Joakim Noah joyfully accepted being drafted by the Bulls giving the official announcement on his website stating, “To the Bulls and the NBA, I come in peace”. This is a sigh of relief from some NBA officials who in early reports voiced concerns of the origins of this Florida Gator. 

They’ve had reports that he is from some remote village in a far off planet, rumors he’s from Uranus.  This was only specualtion and could not confirmed.  We have yet to find out if Noah is from a far off place and if he indeed “comes in peace”?  Will he become the next Michael Jordan and take over basketball and the world?  NBA officials are taking no chances, and have secretly equipped Noah with a tracking device and a shocking device.  They tried it out before the draft and Noah’s hair poofed out to the side.  NBA officials have actually released other photo’s of Noah which are believed to be in his other form.  Check it out and decide for yourself?

P.S. Garnett is unfortunately still with the T-wolves…this guy just needs a chance somewhere else, seriously.

Because I said so…

Ever wonder what it would be like to have a beer with the Pope? I’ve kind of compiled a list in my head over the years of people that I would have a beer with. I’m not really a big fan of the pope or the catholic church for that matter but think it would make for a pretty funny, I had a beer with… It would probably make for a good conversation starter…well I’ve had a beer with the Pope.  For some reason I feel like I’d ask him some questions and he’d undoubtedly give me the ultimatum, “because I said so…” 

I bet the pope is pretty hip regardless, in fact I’ve even heard that he owns an Ipod.  I’m not sure how Steve Jobs, Apple, and their marketing department did it but I hear the Pope is into pumping up to his christian rock before his service….you go POPE!  The Papacy medical staff is worried about his hearing, stating he has a history of hearing/listening problems.

Does the Pope drink beer or is he a strictly wine kind of pope? For some reason a man of faith seems like someone who would be constrained to wine.  I bet he’s a huge ‘wino.’  I mean look at him, he looks like he’s drinking a dry Merlot or something.  I’m not much of a “wino” so I’m not sure what wine would make your face look like this.  I could probably make some ’south park’ esk remarks but I’ll refrain and just link to them.  Though sometimes Catholics are so so easy to make fun of.  What are some of your favorite Catholic jokes or religious jokes for that matter?  I found this joke somewhat funny from the previous link about the biblical ways to acquire a wife:

Don’t be so picky.  Make up for quality with quantity. 
  —Solomon (1 Kings 11:1-3)

A wife?  NOT!
  —Paul (1 Corinthians 7:32-35)

And so it is written in the book in the book of Kings and Corinthians, haha.  They say taking the Bible literally can be a very spirtual thing…hehe. 

An added vid for your viewing pleasure

MMM…I think you’ll enjoy this, midweek mindboggler

This website is by far one of the best sites I’ve come across, the song makes me giggle like a immature little school boy…hehehe.  Jessica Alba at her finest, hehehe.  Also, try this online game out!  I think they have an IM program running while you play so you can chat with other gamers who are playing Kongregate.  I don’t think anyone has thought of this yet, have they?  This is almost better that Half-Life or WOW (world of warcraft for the lame man).  OR, how about this Albino Sheep game?  Gotta love these midweek mindbogglers!

 Twins note: What a game yesterday, it’s good to see a low scoring/extra-inning game every once in awhile.  Boy would you feel stupid if you left that game early, I mean seriously!!!  Hopefully Morneau will be back soon.  Nick Punto still smells!  I guess Gardenhire has been ejected from two games this week, nice work Gardy!

Silly runners…tricks are for kids

It’s come to my attention that there is a new sports drink out there (Accelarade)…good old marketing at its best.  Well its worked Accelerade, you have my attention and now I just have to try the drink. 

Apparently there is a guy, Dean Karnazes, who is currently running for 24-hours straight.  Here is the exerpt from the Accelerade site:

To kick off the national launch of Accelerade, Dean Karnazes will aim high. On June 21, his goal will be to break the world record for a 24-hour distance run on a treadmill (currently set at 153.76 miles) as well as to raise awareness for Athletes for a Cure, an organization dedicated to finding a cure for prostate cancer. The treadmill will be located on a platform attached to the Reuters building in Times Square.

Dean Karnazes has been hailed as America’s best runner. From completing 50 marathons in 50 days to tackling a 200-mile relay race, alone. He is no stranger to endurance, physical fitness and nutrition. Oh, and we should mention that his resting heart rate is 39 bpm. We think that’s pretty incredible.

At least its for a good cause and to promote a new sports drink.  Seriously, how many drinks have they concocted over the years?  Well here’s to having choice and good luck Dean; I hope they raise a fair amount.  Watch here as Dean tackles running on a treadmill for 24. 

SHOCKING ISN’T IT!!!

Nazi cats or wolf shirt?

Have you ever wondered what Hitler’s cat would look like or if Adolf we’re to concieve a cat?  Well look no further…we proudly present the birth of the fuhrer’s cat.  I randomly read a bloggers response in a comment section and came across this website, catsthatlooklikehitler.com. 

In the spirit of really weird and funny websites, I’m going to post one of my favorite ones of the year so far, the wolf t-shirt website.  Who needs Axe body spray when you’ve got a wolf shirt, thanks wolf shirt!!!  The comments on this site are rediculously funny…enjoy.  GO OUT AND GET YOUR WOLF SHIRT!  Here are some highlights of the comments, which ones are your  favorites?

• My power has increased 100 fold with the addition of this shirt to my already vast aresenal of wolf shirts. 
• This shirt cured my Aids!
• This shirt is the only reason why i got hired at McDonald’s. I’m Lovin It.
• No more dingleberries! THANK YOU WOLF SHIRT! :bowdown:
• This shirt is excellent for pulling in husky Native American bitches with diabetes.

It’s a sweep bitches…

The twins sweep the Braves….hooray!  Down two nuts in the ninth the twins pulled out their rally monkeys and beat that junk baller Bob Wickman.  The dreaded piranhas wouldn’t go away and Redmond was smelling the game winning RBI.  Twins win…Twins win! 

In the broadcasting department, Marney Gellnar was just thrilled because she can actually do something for the post game report.  The Fox Sports Net producer started panicking because he couldn’t find Marney right away.  Steve Lloyd, FSN sports net producer, said he found Marney at the concession stand mowing down left over dome dogs with the legendary Yankees catcher Yogi Berra.  I said to Marney: 

What the hell are you doing the Twins have come back, THEY’RE BAAACK!  Get your ass out there and make magic Marney, make magic!

Marney embarassed that she had spilled mustard on her white shirt asked politely if Yogi had an extra napkin. Yogi replied no, but said that he could lick it off. Marney leaves disgusted but happy that she was able to get down 4 of 5 dogs beating the legendary catcher who put down 2.75 of his 5. Yogi replied, I’m old and I’ve got heart burn damn it.

Marney, I love you but sometimes you just need a little lift like a come from behind win to boost your performance for the day.  Marney is PFO’s announcer of the week.  Usually we favor Bert because he’s goofy and he’s been know to drop f bombs but today, Marney shines.  Go Marney!  You did good too Twins.

icky thump…who’da thunk?

Oh the White Stipes.  I think that anyone who doesn’t like the White Stripes just isn’t living.  I mean are you dead man, seriously?  I’ve seen them live at the Orpheum and they are no joke, just a kick ass rock n’ roll act. Damn, can Jack White play the guitar! He was voted the 17th best guitarist of all time by Rolling Stone’s 100 greatest guitar players, pretty amazing considering how long they’ve been around.  Also, Meg White is super hot watching her drum.  I think my friends and I were in a trance watching her jump up and down on the bass drum pedestal , ahh she’s mesmerizing me!

How would I describe the White Stripes in a nutshell?  I’m trying to narrow down words but I guess it’s like the saying: “a picture is worth a thousand words”.  Well, I think their music is worth a thousand ears!  I’d describe them as raw, rockin’, unfiltered, simplistic, catchy, myserious, eccentric, mischievious, true, eclectic, refined, unrefined, old-school.  To me, watching and hearing Jack play the guitar is like a baseball pitcher in the 9th inning of a shutout game, just a master at his craft at his best!  The whole White Stripes thing is a little mysterious, they keep you guessing.  Jack kind of reminds me of Johnny Depp, a person that stays true to what he wants to do with his craft in a mysterious and eccentric way.  And then there is Meg, nothing flashy but that’s just what she is and what Jack wants her to bring to the band.  Nothing more, nothing less.  We all know that Jack is the mastermind behind this operation.  He writes, produces, and does the artwork for the band. I also love that he brings back some of the greatest music, blues and rock n’ roll. Mad props for my man Jack White.

I usually don’t post many serious things but you gotta check out this new album, I think it’s going to kick ass.  I’ve been waiting for this one for awhile.  Did you know that he recorded this album in 3 weeks which is the longest time that he’s taken to record as of yet?  CHECK OUT THIS ALBUM, it comes out on Tuesday, 06.19.07.

Here are two vids, both recorded live at the Jools Holland show. One is them playing their single, icky thump, and the other one is an interview with jack later in the show.


Look for another post about the album in the coming days, I’ve been working on this post for awhile and have a lot of material to post about. For a really good article on the White Stripes check out the Rolling Stones article, here is a couple of links:
Rolling Stones
wiki

I said my lip gloss is poppin…

Paris, I know this has gotta be your favorite song.  I mean you love lip gloss, and it makes you so so cool.  I saw this video on tv this morning and it made me chuckle, the bands name is Lil mama (be advised of the annoying music that will play on site).  If you want a good laugh at the hip hop scene, here’s a good example.  Do you think Paris is allowed to wear lip gloss in jail, I mean she is in a special wing of the jail?  They can’t take any of her freedoms from her, can they?  No matter what happens Paris, they’ll never be able to take away how ‘cool’ you look with lip gloss.

Rogue stuffing…?

What in the sam hell is rogue stuffing might you add?  Well I’ll tell you, it’s when you have a brunch and there’s something mixed in the mess of food, low and behold some rogue stuffing.  Where ther fuck did this stuffing come from?  I never took any stuffing and there is really not that much of it?  Rogue stuffing, I tell it just grinds my gears sometimes.  That and Paris Hilton.

Pure genius…beer mile anyone?

I’ve got to post this BEER MILE thing.  Why didn’t I hear about this when I was in track?  Those runners are crazy.  I remember in high school there were two kind of athletes that were a little off, wrestlers and runners.  With that being said, here is a beer mile by the tracksters at Lewis and Clark college…this is ballsy.  For complete rules, check out the link above.  Sounds like some good old fashion puking, rallying, running, wash and repeat!  The hell with it, these guys are the PFO athletes of the week, I got mad props. 

NOTE: the Steve Prefontaine quote in there from the movie PRE…GO PRE..you dissapoint me PRE, you won the beer mile.